Madden-ing

Madden is a great game.  I used to tear it up with unstoppable quick pitches and waggles on Madden ’95 all day.  The franchise has progressed exponentially since then.  Take a look at the trailer for ’11.

On Friday, Madden released its team ratings for the 2011 installment.  While most sane, level-headed people take these ratings with a grain of salt [given they are loosely based on the teams’ offseason moves, as interpreted by software developers] we continually see talking heads, athletes and others darlings in the public eye place validity and emphasis on the them year after year.

Last night, the NFL Network (of which I am a big fan) ran a segment about the NY Jets receiving a higher rating than the NE Patriots.  They asked their panel of “experts” – “Does this [fabricated video game ranking]  mean the Jets have surpassed the Pats as the best team in the AFC East?”  Are you kidding me?  This is NFL NETWORK!  You’re existence is to serve as the mouthpiece of a league that prides itself on being the ultimate team game, in which anything can happen on any day, and underdogs can ride into glory, yet you pose this question three months before kickoff based on video game ratings?  Why delude some of the great stuff you have going with idiocratic content?

The answer is a resounding no, by the way.  Not yet.

The Madden ratings could be equated to the “hottest girls in school” ranking you made with your buddies back in the day.  Except in this case, your local ABC affiliate raided your Trapper Keeper, got a hold of that crinkled looseleaf, and reported it on the 7-o’clock news.  It would go something like this:

“Has Jane surpassed Jenn as the hottest chick in school?  Our experts say that Jane’s acquisition of larger breasts over the summer make her the early favorite to get laid in the Eastern Conference.  Jenn’s spokesperson counters that because Jane’s front office is willing to spend money to acquire breasts, small market girls like Jenn can’t compete.  Now, let’s turn it over to expert Lawrence Taylor, who’s with us remotely via Mountain Dew Extreme Video Conferencing brought to you by Doritos.”

And don’t forget – I can skew the Madden ratings for any team by creating Beef Supreme, the 340lb QB from South Central Louisiana State University who runs a 4.4 40, has 99 arm strength/accuracy and hasn’t fumbled since Pop Warner.

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