Monthly Archives: February 2011

Idiocratic Roundup: Dead Trees, Butt Implants and RoboCop

Thanks to all of you who’ve submitted idiocratic happenings this week. Here’s a quick roundup of what’s gone on:

  • An aspiring rapper has died after she received illegal butt implants.  You think most would question their sanity before letting some transgender black-market surgeon slice your butt cheeks in his/her dumpy apartment.  Question: how many transgender black market surgeons are there in Philly, that the police haven’t made an arrest yet?
  • Detroit has reached its funding goal to bring a RoboCop statue to its downtown.  Not for nothing, but shouldn’t Detroit be worrying about say, creating jobs, before building a statue of a fictional half-man, half-cyborg?  Watson must be behind all this.
  • Duane Reade will begin selling over-the-counter paternity tests.   Think about that for a second.  There are enough women in NYC who don’t know who the father of their child is, thus creating a market for OTC paternity tests.  Just gonna run down to DR, grab some aspirin, band-aids and find out you are NOT the father! Wake me up when they start selling home abortion kits.
  • An Alabama fan was arrested yesterday for purportedly poisoning trees on rival Auburn’s campus.  Listen, these Southerners are fucking crazed maniacs.  When you’ve got 62-year-old fans like Harvey Almorn Updyke Jr. sneaking around at night and pulling pranks like poisoning trees, you’ve got big societal problems.  Shouldn’t this guy be on a porch somewhere drinking scotch and shooting geese?  Maybe it’s just me but SCHOOL rivalries should involve STUDENTS.  Like 18-21 year old undergrad students.  I don’t care if Harvey took a basket weaving course at Alabama U’s Bumblefuck Annex, but he doesn’t count.  From what I gather, Auburn is luck this guy stopped at the trees and didn’t burn the whole fucking place down.  And Harvey, one last thing.  If you do something illegal against a rival school, don’t call sports radio and brag about it.

Have a great weekend, friends.  Read something!

Beef Supreme is Editor-in-Chief of the Idiocratic Post.


Killing Them Softly (and Legally?)

This just in: people in South Dakota are completely fucking nuts.

That’s right, folks.  The geographic center of North America is anything but when it comes to politics.

These radical righties are pushing for “justifiable homicide” of abortion providers.  Like it’s any of their god damn business what people personally decide to do when they’re pregnant.  Justifiable homicide?  Holy hell, talk about an oxymoron.

…I’ve got a numb feeling about this.  In my objective opinion, these people are seriously crazy.

I bet they serve jumbo shrimp and kosher ham at their meetings.

Awesome hand job?

Raul Pendergast covers politics for the Idiocratic Post.

Less Taste, More Filling

It’s time to play a tasteless little game called:

Egyptian Protest or BONNAROO?

Ready?  Here’s the first round:

Isn’t it eerily similar how periods of great strife and great joy look so similar?  Kind of like how really hot and really cold things feel the same.

Raul Pendergast covers politics for the Idiocratic Post.