Author Archives: Tom Clancey

Sight for Sore Eyes

Plastic surgery could be one of the most outlandish things our fiendish, judgmental culture has brought upon itself.  And sometimes, dear readers, it goes wrong:

A [North Jersey] woman claiming a plastic surgeon’s negligence in giving her cosmetic eyelid surgery has left her unable to blink testified in state court Thursday that the surgeon never warned her of the risks and dismissed her complaints following the procedure.

First of all, NorthJersey.com, take a breath.  That’s a  beast of a sentence.

I guess I don’t see why this is a bad thing?  Marilyn Leisz can make tons of money by winning staring contests in bars across America.  And she doesn’t have to worry about missing anything, unlike like Steven Tyler, who is on record stating that he does not, by any means, want to miss a thing.

Despite the positives,  Leisz is distraught.

She can no longer do things like swim, watch television for long periods, play tennis or sleep with her eyes completely closed, she said. What’s more, she testified, the condition has made her lose self-esteem.

Dare I suggest that if this woman was seeking plastic surgery in the first place, she already had low self esteem?

Raul Pendergast covers North Jersey for the Idiocratic Post.

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Killing Them Softly (and Legally?)

This just in: people in South Dakota are completely fucking nuts.

That’s right, folks.  The geographic center of North America is anything but when it comes to politics.

These radical righties are pushing for “justifiable homicide” of abortion providers.  Like it’s any of their god damn business what people personally decide to do when they’re pregnant.  Justifiable homicide?  Holy hell, talk about an oxymoron.

…I’ve got a numb feeling about this.  In my objective opinion, these people are seriously crazy.

I bet they serve jumbo shrimp and kosher ham at their meetings.

Awesome hand job?

Raul Pendergast covers politics for the Idiocratic Post.

Less Taste, More Filling

It’s time to play a tasteless little game called:

Egyptian Protest or BONNAROO?

Ready?  Here’s the first round:

Isn’t it eerily similar how periods of great strife and great joy look so similar?  Kind of like how really hot and really cold things feel the same.

Raul Pendergast covers politics for the Idiocratic Post.